Yielding...

Is for wimps! Whether in driving, walking, waiting in line at the deli counter -- you cannot hesitate, let anyone in, or proceed with any caution. If you do, you will get no where in Guatemala. If you give anyone, even just an inch, you are out, forget about merging into that lane of traffic. It really is every person for themselves and of course, totally lawless.

Obviously this is the most prevalent on the crazy roads of the Guate, but surprisingly, second place goes to the grocery store. I swear I am not making this up -- I have to mentally prepare myself to go. I know this is so dramatic, but SO true! Seriously! Ladies will not get out of your way, carts are left in the middle of the aisle with no regard to anyone else in the store, your heels get clipped and people totally bump into you....it is wild! Nobody cares that they are shopping with a place full of other people, they want their cookies, so move it. (And then fight for you want!)

My personal nightmare is definitely the deli counter. It is like going to the popular, crowded bar where you are constantly vying for the bartender's attention. (But here, looks or gender get you no where!) You take your eyes off the butcher for one moment and you have lost your chance for your sliced turkey. Might as well clear your schedule for the next hour. I cannot tell you how many times I have been bumped over because I was too preoccupied rehearsing my order in my head. (Don't make fun....this is what happens when you have the vocab of a five year old!) (Una libra de pavo por favor -- if you're interested!) You would think that it would be first come first serve, but that would be too civilized and too easy. I once tried telling a lady that I gotten there first, she looked at me briefly and then continued on with her order....like lines or order matters! Amazing!

Strangely though....I sort of like the game of it all. It definitely feeds into my competitive side, for good or bad. Probably bad.

And funny -- it is hard to shake and shut off. While at home I found myself racing some guy in the parking lot of Whole Foods just to get to the exit first. Granted he was probably normal and going about his own business, no idea that I was "racing" him, knowing that he would be able to leave when it was his turn. Simple, civilized. But me on the other hand felt the need to beat him out to ensure that I would be able to exit and not have to fight for it....weirdo.

I am obviously a maniac and as I am writing this, it is sort of dawning on me that maybe it is not Guatemala, but me with the problem. And maybe I have taken the madness of the Guate as my excuse to be the crazy person I really am. I mean I know I will eventually be able to give the butcher my order, but why wait, especially when no one else is?

So what I guess I am saying is that I am a total monster and Guatemala has unexpectedly brought out my competitive side....but I swear it is a necessary trait here! And besides, I am getting really good at standing my ground, which is a good thing....right?!?!?! And I think I can now drive anywhere, under all sorts of crazy, hectic circumstances. Definitely an asset in this FS life we are living, who knows what other crazy, fabulous, outrageous places we may live?!?!? Maybe Italy?!?!?