How do you say THAT in Spanish...

So...needless to say, Craig and I have found ourselves in more than a few situations where our language skills have failed us. I mean my Spanish, which is the equivalent to that of a 5 year old, is not getting me anywhere, but the funny part is Craig's seems a bit too advanced at times, if that makes any sense. Craig is very articulate and can go on at length about economic policy, debate global warming, and describe the current state of education, but sometimes that is just a bit too much for the circumstances we have found ourselves in...

Scenario #1

We had just purchased 8, yes 8, gallons of paint for the apartment. (I went a bit crazy!) We were so proud of ourselves for getting everything done before closing time and were quickly loading everything in the car to head home, when bam, the bag holding several quart size cans of paint totally split open, sending the cans flying, and of course, bursting on impact.

All I could do was stand there, in puddles of blue, yellow and grey paint. Paint was down the front of me, all over my shoes, and all around me...in puddles and puddles. (Where is our camera when we really need it?!?!?!) I could not, and still cannot believe this happened.

Of course I was wearing my favorite little flats and silk blouse with polka dots -- why would you go to the hardware store in anything else?!?!? (Sensible never seems to register with me.) Craig, in his suit and snappy cordovan shoes was thankfully a safe distance away, and of course could not help but laugh at me as I stood there totally stunned into silence. Well, except perhaps for that single expletive I yelled out quite loudly. (Opps -- not so diplomatic.)

I think I stood there shocked for a few minutes just trying to survey the damage. You cannot even make this up. Then for some reason I decided it would be a good idea to try to scoop the paint back up into the dented cans as Craig went looking for help. And, without fail, proceeded to cover myself in more paint. Yes, amazing.

No one was around, except for the lone few who stood and stared and then walked in the complete other direction. (Smart.) But how could we even ask for help? "Excuse me, my wife broke open several cans of paint, we ruined your parking garage floor, and do you have any paint thinner by chance?" They do not teach you that in class!

Amazingly a parking attendant came out of nowhere, with wads of cotton doused in turpentine. Where did he come from and where did he get this? I have no idea -- all the doors were pad locked shut, the escalator was turned off, lights were dimming, but magically here was this guy with just what we needed! No words were needed -- our mess obviously spoke for itself!

We cleaned ourselves off as best we could. And they are too nice here -- this guy said no problem and thanked us for shopping with them -- unbelievable! So on that note, we high tailed it out of there as fast as possible, leaving the puddles behind. And of course, I would be lying if I said we did not go back to say hello to our permanent mark on Guatemala. I think that blue stain on the parking garage floor will make me laugh for the entire two years we are here!

Scenario #2

"I accidently flung my mop off the balcony and now it's on the terrace three floors below. Can you let them know I am sorry?"

Yes, this happened and amazingly enough, it was not by me this time! Thankfully however I looked up just in time to see the mop head dislodge, go totally airborne, and catch Craig's face of total surprise. Priceless!

We did not figure out how to explain our mess or how to rescue the dirty thing. But let it be known, we feel really bad for the relator who will undoubtedly be showing the place to a prospective buyer and finds this gross little treasure. Sorry! We would try to explain the whole thing if we could. (Does it count saying it here?) Also, we can't help but look for it daily, you know, just to make sure it's still there and hasn't yet been discovered!

There are many more "scenarios", but these are the top two of the moment, for sure. And I highly doubt I will ever have the Spanish skills to talk my way out these little messes I keep finding myself in, but that makes it more fun, right?!?!?!