Frogger

I grew up watching only PBS and eating carob, sprouts and tofu (and I like to think I am normal!)....video games were definitely something not allowed in our house. However, I had cool friends that were allowed to have nintendo, sugar cereal, and twinkies....so I got in my fair share of bad things, regardless. And somewhere along the way I played a few rounds of that ancient video game, Frogger. You know what I am talking about, right?!?!?!

I don't think I have thought of that game in 20+ years, I don't even really know how to play video game, but recently the sound the little frog makes as it hops across the highway, dodging everything in its way, has made its way back into my head...every single time I am on the road. I actually have no idea what sound the game makes, but who cares, I have made something up, and it is so fitting. Driving in Guatemala is like playing some sick game of Frogger. And I know this is old news and a topic I write about way too often....but there is a new element to the game of driving here. Potholes. And these are potholes like you have never seen, that you couldn't even dream up.

It has been raining here like something I have never experienced in my life. I am from Oregon, I get rain and have total street cred. But it is nuts here, just nuts. The skies open and it pours, pours, pours, oceans and oceans of water. Apparently it has rained more this rainy reason than it has in the last 40 years...I am probably butchering this little fact, but it goes nicely with my point. Anyway, after each rain a new, super deep, super scary pothole shows up. Think mini sinkholes, all around the city, in the middle of your lane! So driving around here has taken on a new element, like the next level of a video game. Just when I thought I had mastered normal, crazy Guatemalan driving, I have been upgraded to super crazy, higher blood pressure, not sane at all, level.

Think you could do it?!??! Here you are driving along just fine then bam, huge pothole right in front of you, maneuver around it so you don't loose the entire undercarriage of your car, but can you do it without hitting the car next to you that is driving unreasonably fast and in the middle of both lanes? Cut left instead? But wait, watch out for that pregnant lady darting through traffic to catch the bus that is pulling away and cutting you off at the same time! And of course, in between that madness is the scary guy on the motorcycle weaving in and out dangerously close, oh wait, nevermind, forget about him, he is now driving on the sidewalk, almost in the clear, oh but here comes a guy with no legs on crutches trying to sell you a cell phone charger, roses, and is juggling oranges all at the same time, holy sh&% how did you even get here??!?!? Too late, you lose, you hit the pothole.

I swear this happens every single day. I remain hopeful that they will fix the holes before I need high blood pressure meds....but it may be cutting it close. Never a dull moment Guatemala, never a dull moment!