Perspective?

The most important thing about living abroad is to get out of your comfort zone, experieince as many new experiences as possible, see how other people live their lives (for good, bad, and sad), and to be grateful for all that you have. But sometimes, this is just a bit much to take in. I have had more than a few good cries over the way most Guatemalans must live their lives. Life really is not fair and I hate that, hate knowing it, and hate seeing it even more. That perspective on life is probably what it most important, what is the best thing we can take from our time here, but for me, is also the hardest to swallow.

We live in a bubble sheltered away from a lot of the everyday violence Guatemalans must endure day in and day out. People are so incredibly poor here and the government is not strong or just, opening the flood gates for corruption, a tend towards crime, gangs, drug trafficking, you get the picture. We however drive our nice cars, live in our luxury apartments in the safest part of town, have around the clock security, access to everything we may ever need and want, and do not have to think about surviving.

Yesterday a member of Ambassador's security team was killed while on a public bus, shot and killed. Only 24, in the wrong place at the wrong time. People are shot everyday on the buses around here. Usually a robbery gone wrong, all for a few dollars. We obviously are not allowed anywhere near public transportation, but for the local Guatemalans, how else are they supposed to get to work? They risk their lives everyday, doing menial everyday tasks.

His name was Eldin, young, smart, and truly dedicated to us and our safety. We have had the great opportunity to go on several trips with the Ambassador, always with his team, always with Eldin, always safe. We live in a small world here. Day in and day out you see the same faces, get to know them, like them, trust them. You cannot help but feel connected to every single person involved with the Embassy and it is an absolute shock to lose someone who is such an important part of our world, under such terrible circumstances. And especially Eldin, he was always my favorite.

It is one thing to read about the violence in the papers, to hear about it, but to know the person? It is sad beyond words. But what I think might be worse, at the end of our time here, we leave this violence behind. Guatemalans have to stay and try to live through it. That is too much for me to take. I don't like having such a heavy heart. And I don't like feeling so powerless. What can we do to make things better?