Chocking and gagging....

I don't usually mind the perfume and cologne of other people. I know some have severe reactions to what others wear, but I have always been sort of fine. That was until I moved here....

I have actually been meaning to write about this for a while, but kept forgetting until this morning when I almost died in the elevator. Let me tell you, 16 floors is a long time to hold your breath.

But first let me rewind. I originally wanted to write this post because I was getting so amused by what I would smell like by the end of day. I know this is such a weird direction to go, but bear with me. So I start everyday my own way with my own lotion and perfume, but as the day goes on everyone else wares off on you. You have to hug and kiss everyone hello and slowly but surely you are basically wearing what everyone you have come in contact put on that morning, it is really weird and actually totally gross when you really start to think about it. So I try not think about it and honestly it probably wouldn't be so bad or even noticeable, but Guatemalans love to pile on the cologne, I mean pile it on. You can smell their CK Obsession a mile away.

One of my coworkers was totally the worst, he must go through a bottle a month of whatever gross stuff he wears. And I would sit at my desk after the morning ritual of kiss kiss hello totally pissed that I smelled like this odd guy. So I finally put my foot down and decided not to say hello to him in the mornings anymore. So harsh I know, but he sort of creeps me out anyway and I just had enough. So now I just ignore him, so mature I know.

Anyway, this morning when I got in the elevator to start my day I was reminded of the fact that I have been meaning to write about the cologne consumption here. As the doors of the elevator opened I was greeted by the heaviest cloud of cologne I have ever encountered, and if you can believe it, no person. Someone was wearing so much cologne that even after they exited, they left their signature scent behind. And not just a faint whisper, I am talking full on eyes watering, throat burning, cough inducing amounts. And I don't think they just exited the elevator either. The elevator was not in use when I called for it, meaning this cloud of chemicals lingered for a long time, defying the wonders of ventilation and circulated air. Seriously, it was unbelievable, an actual science mystery! This place is so crazy. And I can't stop wondering about how much cologne it takes to pull off such a feat? 45 sprays?

I wish someone would do a study on how much cologne (and hair gel while we are at it) is "consumed" by this country. I think it may be in the tons, which is really quite fascinating.

But on the bright side, I think I might take up free-style diving or whatever it is called. It turns out I can hold my breath for a really long time. Or perhaps we should all invest in perfume stock?